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#1 hektor

hektor

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    Alfa Romeo 147 1.6 ts

Публикувано 30 март 2006 - 14:18

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
 


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
 


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
 


LONGEVITY


Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
 


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
 


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
:P
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Sky каза:Ела да сръбнеш от извора!

" Ау ми врътнеш един Биг Бен ма! Ни моа, боли ме главата!"

#2 Само Дизел

Само Дизел

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Публикувано 30 март 2006 - 14:40

Много мъдрост е събрана тука, да знаете :)
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Mercedes-Benz - защото животът е твърде кратък.
'91 S124 300 TD Turbodiesel OM603

#3 ENOXELA

ENOXELA

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Публикувано 30 март 2006 - 15:36

Much money love story no no money I’m sorry!!!
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#4 ENOXELA

ENOXELA

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Публикувано 10 април 2006 - 14:47

You know you are Bulgarian when...




You know you are Bulgarian when...

Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs...and tells you it's
good for you.

Duck tape is your father's only tool next to using a kitchen knife as a
screwdriver.

Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American.

At your wedding you know only about a third of the guests.

At least one of your friends' nickname is "Sasho".

Your father calls you a dummy for not knowing how to do something he
can't do either.


И тук има много истина

You drive a better car than your parents.

There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and cabbage in your garage.

There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.

You are 18 years old but your parents still call you by your sibling's
or pet's name.

You can hear your dad snoring from across the street.

Your dad's sneeze scares you.

Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.

Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5 km
uphill- both ways - and over rocks and they make sure to remind you
every time you get in your car.

There is at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.

Being someone's best man really has no meaning.

When you make jokes based on your own tragedy.

Your church has a fully loaded bar.

You don't want to have or do any business with Bulgarians.

Your parents have a shot of rakiya for breakfast.

You started to drink at the age of 12.

It takes over 8 years to finish college.

You have a Bulgarian cross, flag, or icon, hanging from your rear view
mirror.

If you're a girl and not married by the age of 20 you are an old maid.

You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup.

You live with your mom and dad until you are married.

Your mom tells you not to sit on cement or your ovaries will freeze.

There is a slab of fat in your fridge called 'slanina.'

When your grandmother (baba) will not accept the fact that you're not
hungry.

You go to a restaurant and you bring your own drinks.

When your grandma insists that farting is healthy.

All of your elderly acquaintances are scared of drafts.

When you can hear your parents talking and you are across the street.

When you're a girl, and you dye your hair no other color than burgundy.

Everyone is sure you're Greek or Italian.

No one has ever pronounced your name right, and every kid on the block
has a different nickname for it.

When you can always smell garlic on your parents breath and they insist
that is kills bacteria.

When your mother yells at you for taking a shower each and every morning
with her sarcasm "Did you plow the fields today?"

When no matter how old you are, your parents never say you're right.

When you're 6'5 and 150 kg and your parents still think you are too
skinny.

When you're hungry, and then you go and buy a pack of smokes.

When your grandmother (baba) would rather walk 5 miles to the grocery
store instead of pay a quarter to take the bus.

When your father is talking to you and every other word he calls you is
dummy (budala).

You have a shot of rakiya followed by black coffee (4erno kafe) and a
pack of Marlboro for breakfast.

You sport the latest Nike and Adidas outfits but have never exercised in
your life.

You always have the latest mobile phone on the market.

You can spend 3 hrs in a Cafe drinking the same cup of coffee.

Calling someone for a chat at 1 am on a weeknight is normal.

When your parents call relatives in Bulgaria and they have to shout to
be heard.

As soon as you tell a neighbor you're Bulgarian they usually scream
STOICKOV with a weird accent.

When you're married with kids and your mother still insists on cooking
for you.

When you step on poop and your mom tells you that it's a sign of luck or
money.

You know you're Bulgarian when you're 25, live on your own, and still
sneak up the stairs when you get home at six in the morning.

Your parents insist that piling blankets on you body is the way to cure
your 102 degree fever.

When you started going to clubs when you were 14.

When you are never certain whether stay abroad or return to Bulgaria.

When people still think that you are from Bolivia no matter how many
times you say you're from Bulgaria.

When your parents' friends have no shame in telling you you've gained
weight.

You know you're Bulgarian when all you have to do is sniffle and your
parents say "uh-huh" and start yelling at you for getting sick.

You are adored the first 10 years of your life, then treated like a
complete idiot until you get married.

You move next door to a family member to be closer but then end up not
talking to each other because of something stupid you said when you were
drunk.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BULGARIAN WHEN YOU HAVE RUN AWAY FROM BULGARIA AND STILL
SAY IT'S THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE.......


:D
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